same sad day..

haiz.. morning wake up so early.. feeling so down... abit fever.. haiz.. still go out buy things for bai bai.. den go back slp at 9 plus.. den say sry to laopo.. i dunno y i said it.. but i wanted to keep this relationship.. everytime i always give in.. cant take it anymore.. cos i too sad.. laopo dun acknowledge mi.. having mi as a laogong very embarassing ar? cant put in ur msn nick? she just dun wan mi as a laogong.. the different as a bf n laogong is boyfriend can change.. laogong cant.. so i wated u to call mi... shows my ranking in ur heart.. haiz.. so i m just a boyfriend... nvm lor.. thats make mi so sad... u still wan me promise her that i wont force her do thing she dun wan.. it's like i wan her do wad oso cant... i have no authorites.. not a single things.. tell her something oso cant.. from the past.. almost everything i ask her to do.. she dun wan.. wad she wan? i dunno.. so pain... den now i always listen to her.. do wad she wanted.. i dun wan oso cant.. she will turn face n dun wan tok to mi.. den it's still ok.. until she make mi so upset.. i m toking wad i really feel.. it's like i m a extra.. something extra that was granted to her.. den she just dun care about my feelings.. eveytime she wrong den make promises.. but still do the same wrongs... y she nvr change? if yes, only awhile.. 1 day? den she change back le.. haiz.. dun wan tok about that le.. it makes mi cry for like 1hr.. sad... den i forgive her.. n she say she acknowledge mi as laogong.. den we go co.. it wasnt fun.. dun feel like going... haiz.. cant dun pei her.. scare anything would happen to her.. so worried.. den now come back that time.. joe say got part time.. 8-12.. $6 per hr.. so good pay.. but laopo say dun wan.. so i reject le lor... den wad she say.. at most we dun buy things lor.. she just nvr see that i dun wan to be a poor guy.. cant even afford something she wanted.. it can shows from her face.. sad.. even though i cant work.. i think it is a good job.. nice pay... haiz... den i keep asking her if really dun wan buy things.. she say dun wan go out.. dumb! i so angry lor... dun wan go out stay at home rot ar? den oso dun wan mi go her house... den dun wan come my house.. den must well dun wan see each other.. den still treat mi as wad?no money den all things dun wan... becos dun wan mi stress so much.. den say use her money.. occassionally la.. dun wan say le.. it hurts.. den just now.. i ask her to change again..she dun wan.. den ok lor.. still haven treat mi so laogong.. call mi only when i wanted.. nvr change.. hate it! haiz... tonight not crying.. cos afternoon cry until no tears .. now only sad sad.. good nite my dearest laopo! muackz... love u!

OMG!!s

today was like wake up early early.. den go sch.. see my plant.. OMG!!! plants all yellow... die die.. haiz.. den do project.. do until ard 12 50.. den go eat.. dun feel like eating.. so pei my frens.. becos i cant make it back to meet my dear le.. eat le just nice.. walk out got bus le.. haha.. den on bus i fell aslp.. den until the bus interchange dere i woke up.. only got mi on bus.. OMG!!! i m the only ppl on bus?!?!?! den i go queue up in the 975 part.. OMG!!! i m the only person in the whole area.. wakao.. den got a group of girls walk to queue.. they wearing dunno wad uniform green n blue.. look so cheap.. haiz.. dun care them i go slp slp.. den dey say bus come le.. dumb.. i actually stood up. haiz.. den they laugh.. OMG!!! i was actually tio fake! haiz..
sianed... den go on bus. reach home le.. eat 2 dumplings den go slp.. dear come le!! she kissed mi up.. so happy.. den i finally can hughug her.. lovesick all cured! den i was wanting to kiss her.. but she just dun wan.. last time still can.. kiss her as i like.. haiz..nvm lor.. we watch tv.. den eat dumplings again.. haha.. den she brought back some dumplings.. hope all is nice nice de..ok le lor.. thats all.. good nitez... laopo.. i love u! muackz!

busy day again..

today so tiring.. 7 woke up le.. but go eat breakfast.. den go buy things.. feel so sad.. miss laopo.. until 9 plus den reach home.. i tot my dear still slping.. so msg wake her up.. but she in church le.. haiz.. den the thing start le.. so nvr msg her le lor.. all the way to 1 plus.. i very busy.. doing the dumpling.. haiz... tired.. tired... den my dear dear end le.. ask her come over help mi... oso can learn how to do ma... but she dun wan.. say tired.. haiz.. den ok lor.. ask her go rest.. den she nvr reply le.. so i tot she really slp le ma.. den continue with the stuff i doing.. until 4 plus.. i msg her again ask if she slping ? she say she nvr slp.. using com.. den i was tired den angry.. cos i ask her help me.. she dun wan.. say tired... den still go use com.. very angry.. so msg her in a very angry method.. haiz.. too tired.. so i think all negative..haiz... sad.. 3 days nvr meet my laopo le.. heart pain.. love sick.. so miss her.. wan hug hug.. kiss her.. so ask her come tmr she say dunno.. i hate "dunno"s!!! pls dun use it.. i was like crying le lor.. everything dunno dunno... den i decided to go her house after my thing.. haiz.. den i continue to do dumplings.. 100 ++ omg so little .. last year about 200++ .. haiz.. den must give uncle.. auntie.. den dear.. den my kor's de gf.. den left so little for mi... ... i so tired.. haiz.. good nite.. love u dear.. muuuaaaaaaaaccck!!

Tiring day... miss her...

morning ok la... den afternoon le go buy this go buy that.. it's is dragon boat festival on tuesday... so mama making dumplings..den i oso help her.. every year oso got help her ma.. den so busy... come back le.. i cooked dinner... laopo was slping.. maybe i neglected her.. sry.. too busy.. haiz.. if i can i wish to be 2 person..1 for laopo.. 1 for family.. haiz... den after dinner.. my dad say that i nvr help him move the wires to one side so can bring out the fish tank... dumb la.. y blame mi.. i oso not free in the afternoon ma... morning kor kor studying n that slping log.. slp until 3 leh.. blame me for wad? like it's all my fault.. sob sob.. dear dear confronted mi.. she's so good.. love her.. muack.. but i was too busy.. cant even have the time to reply her msg.. when i was moving things.. haiz.. sry sry.. pls forgive mi.. en she went to slp first le lor.. glad that she nr wait for mi.. cos i work until 2 den end.. carry.. pack here pack dere.. haiz.. now 2 le.. so late tmr waking at 7.. 5 hrs slp.. die! so good nite... love u dear.. muuuaaaaaaaaaaaccccccccck!!!

lost ending..

normal morning... sian afternoon.. bad nite... dun wan say anymore... good mood go bus stop... she give mi shit... haiz... cant kiss u ar? one good nite kiss oso cant... den now..actually got alot of things to say.. now dun wan to say le... DUN WAN!!! i m tired... give me a break pls.. pls... nitez...

not happy very sad..

today morning as normal... haiz.. 1 30 go out with laopo.. lot1 de pasar malam dun have my size.. !@##$%#$%! Y everywhr oso dun have my size! den how fat ppl buy shirt? den i n dear go boon lay watch movies.. jj de legend of the sea.. haiz.. another ok nia.. haiz... between the time to the movies.. we go c shop shop... got nice nice shirt for dear..haizzz.. no money.. den she wanted it.. like so much.. but only she nvr say.. haiz.. den next shop i dun wan go in see le la.. later the salesgirl ask her try.. den i no money pay how? !@#%$#^$%^#$! haiz... den she angry with mi.. i feel like so depressed.. all my fault.. no money for her to spend.. but how i work.. she say i nvr pei her... how to work? she dun wan mi work... den wan mi buy shirt... i whr got money.. feel i so useless.. cant even afford my laopo to buy things.. den from there onwards she nvr tok to mi.. so sad.. so sad... should have listen to her.. not to go out today..sad... cryz cryz.. but she finally forgive mi.. but i still feel that i m so useless.. no money.. poor guy.. dunno she cant bear this with mi for how long?i dunno.. sad.. den i used her money for dinner.. sad.. but.. i really had been better.. last time was like no money for 1 month.. den i really nvr eat in school.. now got money oso save for her le.. that's all i have...really feel so useless.. sad..sad.. later reach home le her parents scold her..so sad .. i was not there to protect her..haiz... cant type le.. nitez.. sobsob.. love u dear.. muuuuaaaaaack!

sunday!

lol! today i actually woke up at 1 plus reaching 2.. omg! first time! afternoon go swimming! swimming!night.. night i reach home..den ... i dun wan to write le.. dun feel like writing.. nitez.. dear i love u! muack.. muack..

haiz.. haiz.. sian day after all..

today morning i woke up early.. den go eat.. DONUTS! haiz.. so tired.. den after breakfast.. go carry thing.. dunno why my dad like that de.. no much captial oso do this do that.. bring everything home.. crowd up the place..sian la..in the end is i do.. haiz.. backache.. den still nid go pei laopo.. dunno y mother in law dun like der to go out with mi?wad have i done wrong? haiz.. den watch men in white at 4.. not say very nice.. ok nia.. haiz.. den go buy shirt.. she bought 3.. actually i wan another one too.. nice nice..haiz.. dear.. ah dear.. i really scare i no money to buy wadeva u wan.. den we went home.. she from mrt to home.. hardly talk to mi.. sad..today she oso nvr call mi laogong.. still dun acknowledge mi.. y?? no i love u..haiz.. cant she be more romantic? cant? she say she is slpy.. but when reaching home she become so active.. jus dun wan to talk to mi.. so become so slpy.. angry! >.< ! but nvm.. it's over.. love her still.. laopo i love u! muack! good nitez.. pls comment!



sry about yesterday.. forget to write.. cos too late le.. slpy.. den forgot.. hahaz...

quite a busy day..

morningi woke up quite early.. saw my mother going out.. throwing the sister at mi.. haiz.. sian.. y everyday she go out de? den my dear was at sch have test.. sad.. she said that it is dying difficult.. gone case.. sian la.. she go mac eat after that.. den she go home n bathe .. den CO.. i was like wathing anime n taking care of sis for the day.. luckily mama come back at 2 plus.. i go eat lunch den reutrn home.. watch awhile den go bank.. post cheque.. den buy dinner things.. sian.. dun feel like cooking le.. my papa cant eat this cant eat that.. siao ar! dunno wad to cook.. den anyhow buy.. haiz.. i think i really lousy le.. cook oso not nice.. sian.. sian .. sian.. for the whole day i watching anime.. stop.. watch..stop..watch., oso dunno wat i watching.. haiz.. den dear dear came.. she oso not very gd.. still no "laogong".. haiz.. cant kiss.. her lips got uclers.. all becos i kiss to hard.. haha.. i regretted.. sad.sad.. my dear at nite is being bullied by classmates.. hate them.. why they bully my girl? wan fight ar? but thinking of it.. my dear still abit dumb.. haha.. this virus thing is like 2 yr ago de thing le.. so old le.. maybe becos that time she dunno wad is msn? haiz.. sad for her.. i was like playing.. den reading her complain.. scolding my frens.. 3 in 1! great right? i oso very busy.. den now so late le still typing blog.. haiz.. good nite... muack!

sad day after all...

morning! i wake up at 6 plus.. take care of sister..wake my brothers up.. buy breakfast.. den quarrel with grandma.. den so tired.. lied down wan slp.. den remember to wake dear up... bought breakfast for her.. egg macmuffin... $4.30.. which is 2x of my breakfast.. no money!! den go her house pei her.. happy happy.. but when we going out.. she changed.. nvr tok to mi.. ask her questions nvr answer.. but i cant cry.. must bear with it.. dun let her worry about mi before the test.. so i went back home.. cry.. for 10 mins.. den slp slp.. zzzzzzzz... wake up by my brother cos he wan go out.. n sis is bothering him.. haiz.. den take care of sis... luckily grandma take care of her .. i went back to slp.. but in 10-20 mins.. dear say she coming back le.. so i ask her if wan mi go pei her.. den she msg mi.. "u come u oso nvr pei mi.. only slp".. this hurt mi lor.. say until like i m useless.. only slp.. cant pei... like i m useless.. useless.. sad.. den i crying.. but still i went her house.. bought waffles for her.. she eat le den dunno why dun wan tok to mi.. den i angry la.. sit on the floor.. until she stop using the com.. i go watch anime... den she studying.. i randomly stop the anime.. tok to her.. she still nvr reply.. keep neglecting mi.. den 7plus le.. she say i nvr pei her.. how could i pei her if she nvr wan to reply mi.. is like talking to the wall.. u nvr tried this kind of feelling..so sad.. so sad... i cried out.. she oso.. so pain.. heart pain.. bleeding profusely.. PAIN!! tears flow like a tap.. den she still dun wan reply mi.. it's too much! cryz... i dun wan to stay in the sad place anymore.. so i wan to leave.. she cant even confront mi abit... i cry until so sad le.. how she be a gf? nvr even wan to care mi.. cryz.. i tok all the bullshit.. pain.. pain.. n pain.. when i was going out.. she still dun wan to tok.. how to think about a kiss.. so sad.. i was crying on my way home.. feel like just walk into the road.. for a "BANG!" .. but i nvr.. it's foolish..

Reached home.. go eat.. face still red red.. swollen eyes.. den when eating fish.. accidently hurt my gums.. lucky no blood.. den i go on9 le.. she say sorry.. for now i forgive her.. cos she is studying... den i watch anime.. this time watching de time nvr neglect her.. but my kor say got game le.. so i joined.. so sorry.. during game i video call her le.. she nvr tok.. but i still tok to her while playing.. but only can hear her typing.. type type type.. dun wan to tok.. i wonder toking will die ar? every problem come from her not toking... den she angry with mi.. i know.. our relationship starts from sms.. no talking.. but y cant she talk? i tried talking nicely le.. but she still dun wan talk.. nvr call mi laogong at her own will.. sad.. NEVER! hope she will soon..

ok la.. late le.. i go slp..